The date is February 8th, 2019 and I, Mitchell Tor just had my next
million billion dollar Idea. The idea dawned on me while trying to write a blog while watching the Kings @ Clippers on NBA League Pass. In case you were wondering, the game was a complete and total snoozefest. Alas, I continued watching the game out of pure boredom. Finally, halftime came and I was put out of my misery. I had the opportunity to put all of my focus on my writing. My effort to write was to waste, as the most entertaining basketball of my life entered the screen. 10 fifth graders came to center court and the game began. If you had told me I would be so entertained by a group of twelve-year-old kids I would have told you to put me in prison, but these kids could ball. When I say ball, I mean it, if I didn’t have the best post moves since Hakeem Olajuwon I would almost certainly guarantee that any one of these ten could destroy me in a game of one-on-one.
As I sat and watch an impressive display of basketball, I pondered, “Why on earth don’t they replace these bum ass NBA players with the fifth graders” It would almost certainly be more entertaining and maybe, just maybe better basketball (Unless you are a huge fan of Nemanja Bjelica (pronounced Ne-MEN-yah Bee-a-LITZ-ah (seriously… how? (Another blog for another day.)))).
This brings me to my main point. A million dollar idea. The TBA AKA the Tween Basketball Association. We put these fifth graders into elite elementary/middle schools and watch while they dominate the basketball world. I know that you have a couple questions so I will address them head on.
Question 1: Will we pay them?
I believe the NCAA put it best, “No”
Question 2: How will we make the million dollars of US tender?
We make a 128 team tournament in April and call it April Absurdity. Have advertisers paying up the wazoo for a commercial spot while selling out stadiums from coast to coast.
Question 3: Are you joking?
Again, the NCAA put it best.
Now that I have answered all of your questions, I hope you look forward to our inaugural event in April 2021. I know I look forward to making millions on the backs of twelve-year-olds while establishing asinine rules to prevent them from making a single penny in the process.
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